


Memories of a Broken Promise

by madridistagoblue



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen, Introspection, POV First Person, Post Teikou vs Meikou
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 17:24:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4108957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madridistagoblue/pseuds/madridistagoblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't know when I stopped believing in myself. <br/>[...]<br/>Fate seemed to have other plans for me than the future I imagined." </p>
<p>Ogiwara Shigehiro's reflections in the aftermath of his game against Teikou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories of a Broken Promise

I don't know when I stopped believing in myself.

I had always admired tenacity above other traits. I remember the mornings we spent watching the NBA -- Kuroko and I. I remember holding my breath as I saw players battle their way back from ten point deficits to force overtime in the final minutes of a game. I remember seeing the pure determination on players' faces as they sunk the game tying three-pointer and roared with pride. I wanted to grow up to be like them, to let my own will carry me past every limit.

But, perhaps, our own wills are not always enough. Fate seemed to have other plans for me than the future I imagined. It was not only that I was powerless in the face of the Generation of Miracles. The fact that I was a mere pawn in their game was only a confirmation of the reality that I cannot control my life the way those NBA stars seemed to control their matches. I wanted only one thing: to keep my promise to face Kuroko in the finals. My second year, I thought it was my own failure that had stalled my plans. But this year, when Kuroko went down injured before the championship game, I had to accept that perhaps we were not meant to fulfill this promise.

I suppose it is selfish to expect that just because I put all of my effort towards a goal I should be entitled to receive it. There are more important things in life than my individual desires. Kuroko understood that, better than anyone I have ever known. He was always willing to help others succeed without requiring any personal recognition. That's why I'm trying to accept that fact that perhaps the basketball championship was never meant to be my journey. Perhaps it was his.

I know that Kuroko saw himself as the shadow to my light. His admiration for me was clear from the way his eyes would glow as he watched me play on the street court where we met. He loved to listen to me talk about my favorite NBA players and, somehow, my encouragement helped pick him up when he felt as though his game would never make progress. But my words were nothing compared to the inspiration he gave me. It was I who was truly changed by being in his presence. His determination, his selflessness, and his love of the game shone brighter than I ever could. If I have one regret, it is that I could never express this to him. Even now, I'm not sure how to describe his influence in words.

I wonder, then, if Kuroko is meant to save the Generation of Miracles. Even before I had my hopes dashed by the scoreboard, I had been disillusioned by the cold look in the mismatched eyes of their captain. I knew of Akashi Seijuurou, from Kuroko's letters and texts, but he was not the person I met in the hall that afternoon. The Akashi in Kuroko's letters was a generous captain and a compassionate leader, one whom Kuroko was indebted to for giving him a chance. Even more than that, he was Kuroko's friend, always there with a wise word of advice when it was most needed. I never could have imagined that a friend of Kuroko's would play basketball without enjoying the game itself. But I suspect that he has changed. It seems they all have. Even Kuroko, when I tried to call out to him at the semifinals, seemed distant.

But Kuroko still had life in his eyes that the captain did not. It is hard to imagine the Generation of Miracles as anything but cold and faceless gods, playing mercilessly with the lives of mere morals. But Kuroko knew them not as these giants, but as friends. If anyone can change them I believe he can. And, perhaps, that is why fate has not been so kind to me. Kuroko may not have been meant to play against me. He might have needed to see what his friends have become. Maybe that way he will inspire them, the way he inspired me.

I don't know when I stopped believing in myself.

But I will never stop believing in him. 


End file.
